I don’t even recognize her. She was so full of life and hope. Nothing could stop her, nothing could slow her down or convince her to change course. She’d never be defeated; her trust was in the Lord.
Today, her spirit isn’t jaded or weakened but thankful and stronger. She hasn’t learned the hard way but has learned God’s way. It’s work. She’s been disciplined through love; for a greater purpose. Her story isn’t the result of naivety but of hope.
I remember when she was asked to do the hard thing. Her confidence. So self-assured and focused on the goal set before her.
Now she’s living it. It isn’t a goal or daydream full of whimsy but a reality. She’s where God called her – the hard place. Her confidence is not diminished but re-assigned, it’s no longer in her but in Him. She’s no longer thinking that she is strong enough but that He is strong enough. She’s seeing firsthand what He can do through a willing heart. She is tired but wise. She has been hurt but hasn’t lost. She has failed and seen redemption. Today, she is not less but more. She has failed but hasn’t lost focus.
I don’t even recognize her. Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I’m embarrassed of her. The young woman I was 10 years ago. I loved a God I didn’t really know.
Lauren Blauw 