Tag: hurt

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Shut It Down and Shut It Up

We all say it.  Every woman I know says, “I hate drama” or “I’m too old for drama” or some other variation.  So then why do we do it?  Why do we get tangled up in gossip even when we have the best intentions at heart?  We all fall victims to ourselves, relishing in the spread of information that was never ours to receive.  Why don’t we stop it when it starts?  Instead we justify and say, “Well I know I’m not going to tell anyone” or “We should pray for this couple”.  Why do we rationalize gossip?

I could give you my opinions.  The same ones you probably share.  We want to feel better about ourselves or we want to feel included, we want to fit in or seem like we are “in the know”.  But when we all have seen and have fallen victims to gossip and the damage it does and the hurt it creates.  Why do we continue?

Let me ask you this tough question: Are you a mean girl?  Am I?  Yes.  Irrevocably, yes.  If we participate in the dirt on someone’s marriage or the elective surgeries of someone in a friend circle, we are mean girls.

Have you ever been caught gossiping?  There is so much shame.  So much shame in knowing I couldn’t stop myself.  So much shame knowing I cared more about hearing what was wrong in someone else’s life than about doing something to build them up.  So much shame knowing that feeling like I was being included was more important than reaching out to the person who was being left out and singled out.

It’s so ugly.  It’s so mean.  We are better than this.   We need to shut it down and shut ourselves up.

P.S. Any information or conversations I have with ANYONE I keep confidential.  Recently, I have experienced a situation where that same courtesy was not given to me.  And it hurt.  I got hurt.

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I Don’t Even Recognize Her

I don’t even recognize her.  She was so full of life and hope.  Nothing could stop her, nothing could slow her down or convince her to change course.  She’d never be defeated; her trust was in the Lord.

Today, her spirit isn’t jaded or weakened but thankful and stronger.  She hasn’t learned the hard way but has learned God’s way.  It’s work.  She’s been disciplined through love; for a greater purpose.  Her story isn’t the result of naivety but of hope.

I remember when she was asked to do the hard thing.  Her confidence.  So self-assured and focused on the goal set before her.

Now she’s living it.  It isn’t a goal or daydream full of whimsy but a reality.  She’s where God called her – the hard place.  Her confidence is not diminished but re-assigned, it’s no longer in her but in Him.  She’s no longer thinking that she is strong enough but that He is strong enough.  She’s seeing firsthand what He can do through a willing heart.  She is tired but wise.  She has been hurt but hasn’t lost.  She has failed and seen redemption.  Today, she is not less but more.  She has failed but hasn’t lost focus.

I don’t even recognize her.  Maybe I don’t want to.  Maybe I’m embarrassed of her.  The young woman I was 10 years ago.  I loved a God I didn’t really know.