Tag: personal

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Just Thankful.

I’m not sure what’s been happening to me lately.  I can’t seem to go to a bible study, worship service or Wal-Mart without being overcome by the greatness of God. The reason I say I’m not sure what’s happening is because there is really nothing spectacular about this season of life.  Most of us probably recall on one or two hands the number of seasons in our lives where we have felt with no uncertainty God’s good great presence at work in our lives.  Often those seasons exist within times of grief, loss, fear, answered prayer, unexplained miracles or times of great joy – the times we are actively looking for Him; the times we need to give thanks or to cry out.

However, when life is feeling “normal”, we are likely to begin slipping into the habit of taking Him for granted.  The times when your family has enough money, everyone is healthy, relationships are good, you know, the “normal” times. Those are the seasons we begin to assume God’s existence rather than acknowledge it, much less actively search for it.

That’s why I’m surprised and really quite thankful that in this quiet and maybe mundane season of my life, I’ve never been more aware of His goodness. This just might be the best time in life to feel that. I have nothing to point towards other than Him. I’m not thanking Him for a cleared test result, praising him for a healthy baby or crying out to Him at the loss of someone dear. I’m just thanking.

Some might say, Lauren, it’s Christmas – everyone is close to Jesus this time of year. I call bull on that because last year, I was in basically the same place of progress in my life and guess what? I gave two rips about the fact that it was Christmas. I was utterly disinterested in the Christmas to-do list and overall would have stated that I was unmoved by the season. This year, nothing has drastically changed, no traumatic or life-altering events have taken place and yet, I’m simply overcome.

I have sat in church the last few weekends on the verge of tears just because of where I was. Not because of the sermon, the worship or even the time of month. Just thankful. I’m here and so is He and it’s so so good.

Dear God, please let me stay in this place forever. Please God may I keep my eyes on You and You keep your grip on me. Lord, I feel better than I ever have in my whole life. Let me please somehow pass this on to everyone around me. I pray God you could use me. Don’t ever let go God. I love You so much. In Your name, Amen.

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Be A Stephanie

I have a personal motto/affirmation I say to myself whenever I am tempted to give in to social anxieties. The motto is simple and to the point: Be a Stephanie.

What on God’s green earth does that mean, you might ask. Well, it’s simple. In a world full of timid interactions and second-guessed moments: Be a Stephanie.

Who on God’s green earth is Stephanie, you might ask. Well it’s an odd story. Stephanie is a girl/woman/lady I meet at a mutual friends bachelorette party. Stephanie was at this party solo.  She knew no one other than the bride and had flown into Chicago from New Jersey just for this party. The spectacular thing about Stephanie is that I had no idea she didn’t know anyone until hours into the party, when I had already decided I liked her.

Stephanie took initiative in starting conversations and was the first to offer help to the hosts at every turn. Conversation with Stephanie wasn’t simply pleasant and definitely wasn’t awkward. Talking to Stephanie was as easy as talking to any good friend.

Stephanie’s view of and appreciation for the company surrounding her was obvious. Even though she didn’t know them, she genuinely seemed to like where she was at that moment. Her heart for the guest of honor was obvious.  Repeatedly stating that she just wanted the bride-to-be to have the absolute best time of her life that night. Stephanie didn’t just say that but she took action to make it happen. Her decisions throughout the night were not based on her own comfort or enjoyment but on the comfort and enjoyment of the bachelorette.

I have never seen Stephanie again since that bachelorette party. I don’t even know her last name to find her on Facebook. But her spirit made an incredible impact on my life in a short 24 hours. Telling my husband about the party on the way home I spoke of Stephanie and I said: I want to be a Stephanie. I want to make other people feel as good and included as Stephanie made me feel.

So there you have it. When I’m in a situation where I’m uncertain of my surroundings. When I’m not sure how to act or who to talk to and find myself questioning each moment rather than enjoying them I remind myself: Be a Stephanie.

Rather than worry if others are seeing you, make others feel seen.

Rather than trying to be the life of the party, make sure others feel heard.

Rather than recoiling after an odd interaction with someone, move on. Let go. Love.

Be a Stephanie.

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Hiccups.

I’ve had a bit of a writing hiccup.  No, I haven’t run out of words (not remotely possible).  But I have kind of run out of courage.

The problem I’ve always had with blogging is that I easily start feeling self-centered and attention seeking.  Even if I personally know that’s not the case, I still feel like that’s what it starts looking like to everyone else.  Maybe if I felt like I was telling more of a story and not just talking about my life it wouldn’t feel so awkward.

I actually have about 10 more posts written that I’m just not ready to post.  Maybe I never will.  Maybe I never really should.  I love writing.  But I don’t know what it is I’m meant to write.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from all of you.  What kinds of blogs do you love to read?  What kind of blogs do you wish there were more of?  What are the topics that are on your mind?